Just Call Me Jacob

In recent weeks I have a had a disturbing realization. Over the past year and a half, Jon and I have been on a difficult journey. I'm sure many of you already know this fact. In classic Cheryl fashion I have mucked things up in a big way, and made everything more painful than it needed to be.

I have felt for a long time, that God wanted me to let go. When we moved to the house we live in now, I put all I had into building a HOME. Consequently, I am very attached to it. A thing. A house. A house that would be nothing...empty, without us. So, I set about "letting go". Of the house. Of the community. I detached. I accomplished it and then set about patting myself on the back. Applauding myself, because it wasn't an easy thing to do. In my supreme ego, I thought I was "done" growing and decided it was God's turn to do something.

In classic God fashion, He wasn't done with me yet.

Those of you who know me, know I have a slight issue with control. Being human, I have always viewed this attribute as one of my strengths. I have always totally and wholly believed that while this trait may annoy some, it makes me a stronger person. Never occurred to me that God may want me to let that go too. Which has made my struggle, my night with God if you will, a particularly long and painful one.

After Jon's last interview fell through I hit bottom. You see, God said to let go and I did. Then I set about making plans. I SAID I was waiting on God. But I was only waiting on Him to put all MY PLANS into motion really. I decided which job God should give Jon, then I started picking school systems and homes and packing up our house. My faith has never been my weakness. I KNEW that His plan for us was perfect. I KNEW that He would come through for us. But, silly me, I really thought He would agree with MY PLAN for us. I really thought that I KNEW what was best for us.

Therefore, I came out of that last power struggle limping, crippled...like Jacob. And I have finally conceded...I really do want his best...which means I have to let HIM make my plans.

This afternoon, Jon is flying to Raleigh. For another interview. I'm not asking for prayers. I'm not making any plans. I'm waiting. This job is either the one. Or it's not. Only time will tell. God's time.

I will control what I can and stop trying to control what I cannot. It's just too tiring. Originally, I thought when Jon didn't get that last job, that God had broken my heart. In time, after I had mulled things for a few weeks, I realized it wasn't my heart He broke, it was my pride. It was my will. In classic Cheryl fashion, it took a year and a half for me to get it. Sad, huh. Well, for now, I've got it. I'm not saying I won't have to be taught this same lesson again ever. For now though, I am at peace.

And we shall see what happens.
I love you all!

Tomorrow is Another Day

Today, I have been bad.

Bad. Bad. Bad

All under the pretext of being a good wife and mother, mind you.

Actually, it’s been going on for awhile…ever since I went back to work. Julie and I are a bad influence on each other, you see. We both have a great and passionate love. A love of food.

I’m pretty sure I’ve gained 30 pounds since I went back to work.

Today, was the apex though. Today, I went overboard, even for me.

First, I woke up with a hankering for bacon. Ya can’t have bacon without eggs. Over easy. With toast. Well, really! Have you ever tried to eat eggs over easy without toast? Just doesn’t work.
Then, I had been telling the kids for weeks that I would make cheese soup. So I had to make it, didn’t I? I, of course, applied the four food groups as I know them. I used butter, cream, cheese and everything else.
 Rich, you say?

Oh how I would love to bah humbug you…but…I can’t. It was rich. Luscious and extravagantly rich.
That would be enough for most people, but not me! No sirree Bob! Since I have been working I don’t get to bake as much, so on the weekends I get the urge. This gloomy, overcast and cool Sunday evening, spice cake was in order. I had found a new recipe and was itching to try it. The cake, of course, had a cream cheese frosting. Now, I will say it was positively heavenly. But…

I am SO BLOATED!! Too much, even for me…tomorrow I will change my ways. Well, I will try.

Again.

I’m sure it won’t be the last time. Certainly isn’t the first.

I love you all!

Funny Four Eyes

We recently went and had all the kids eyes checked before school started. Well, let me re-phrase that…Jon went and had their eyes checked. Sam, of course, needed new contacts. I would show you a picture, but frankly, they look exactly like last years contacts. Liam got new glasses. They look very similar to his old ones…hopefully, they will prove to be more durable though. His old ones broke constantly. I’m not entirely convinced the problem was the glasses. I mean, this IS Liam we’re talking about. I have a feeling he will just be hard on glasses. Period.

Then there’s our girl Mags. Mags, who has BEGGED for glasses for two years…Mags who has not NEEDED glasses for two years…Mags  who has pouted and cried and railed at the unfairness of it all when she was told year after year that she had 20/20 vision. This year, the eye dr. told her that she still has 20/20 vision, however, it is deteriorating and she could benefit this year from a pair of glasses. They may help her with the crispness and clarity of what she is seeing.

So, Jon called me at work and being the serious control freak that I am I said “Do NOT let her pick them out herself…I will be there in a few minutes.” Then I called him back and said “Hold up, wait a minute, put a little wiggle in it.”

Well, not really, actually I said, “Hold up, wait a minute…we are NOT getting her glasses if she has 20/20 vision. To heck with “clarity”.”

Now, naturally, since I am the authority in our house… the one all decisions of any merit rest with, Mags does not have glasses.

Did you believe that for even a second??

Jon was the one there with her. With her, as she cried and railed against the unfairness of it all. After insurance paid their part, the one who had to sit there and listen to her whining decided it was well worth our $17 to shut her up! So, there she is….with 20/20 vision that is now “crisp”.

Pretty cute, huh??

Love you all!

Liam Murphy

For those of you who have wondered, worried and possibly even prayed for my sweet Liam...a little update. He had a great week at school. I have already been in close contact with his teacher, it helps that she was Sams teacher too. I adore her. We have been emailing daily about how he is fitting in and handling his repeat. She said he immediately clicked with the other kids and has seemed lighter and happier this year. She was one of his teachers last year as well, but only a secondary teacher then. This year he will spend most of his day with her. I have to agree with her. After worrying and praying all day Wednesday about how he would handle his first day in the 3rd grade the 2nd time around, he came home in an incredibly good mood. In fact, I don't believe he has ever come home in such a good mood before in the previous 4 years of schooling! He has been hanging out with boys from his baseball team. And it was a relief, let me tell you. He was so nervous Wednesday morning, he felt sick. Which in turn made Jon and I feel sick as well. He came off that bus all smiles that afternoon though and has not made a single protest to school since. So, I am hopeful...and prayerful...that this is the year things turn around for my boy with the big heart. Love you all!

Status Update

Jon had an interview today with Huntington Bank, here in Central Ohio. The interview went very well. Very well, meaning he is extremely likely to get an offer. Fairly quickly. However, and to us it’s a BIG HOWEVER, it is NOT a job he would enjoy in the least. From what he told me, it would be a lot of testing, a lot of no real schedule, working at the mercy of his job year round. A lot of 12-15 hour days. Any of you who know my husband know he would HATE that. It is a good PAYING job…but I’m not so sure that convinces us this job is a good thing.

Meanwhile, we are supposed to hear something one way or another from First Citizens (Raleigh job) tomorrow. Please, pray they make us a reasonable offer. At this point, a lot of money won’t sway us. Jon would like his job at First Citizens…and he’s pretty sure he would be unhappy in the one here. Which makes our decision pretty easy, if you ask me. If First Citizens offers us enough that we think we can afford the move and make it once we’re there, loss or not, we are going. Jon will only take the job at Huntington if he has too. They already told him that if FC makes an offer, they want an opportunity to counter offer…but I don’t really think it matters how much they offer…unless FC just really doesn’t come through. I don’t want him to take a job he would hate, unless it’s the only job, obviously. Then I suppose we will just bide our time.

So, I should have more news tomorrow…and while you’re waiting,

O-H !!!!!!!